How to Actually Stop Overthinking (Step 1 That Breaks the Habit for Good)
- carolyn barnes
- May 22
- 4 min read
What Overthinking Really Means (And How to Stop It)
By Carolyn Barnes, CHt
I used to overthink everything.
I’d replay conversations, try to predict every possible outcome, and lie awake at night analyzing something someone said two days ago. I was caught in a loop—tired, stuck, and constantly overwhelmed. And the worst part? It felt normal.
But it wasn’t clarity I was chasing.It was control.And control, I’ve learned, is the nervous system’s way of avoiding what it doesn’t feel safe to feel.
That’s when it hit me:
Overthinking is a habit. And like any habit, it can be changed.
You Think You’re Overthinking… But You’re Under-feeling
Did you realize....
Overthinking is not just a thought problem — it’s a feeling problem.
When your nervous system senses a threat — even an emotional one — it tries to protect you. If feeling sadness, fear, or shame doesn’t feel safe, your brain does something very clever:
It starts thinking instead of feeling.
Once I understood that overthinking is my mind trying to manage a feeling it hasn’t processed, everything shifted.
The looping thoughts? They weren’t because I was broken — they were because my body was brilliant.
It was trying to protect me from something it didn’t feel safe enough to feel.
That realization changed everything.
Because once I saw overthinking for what it really was — a protective habit, not a personal flaw — it became so much easier to interrupt the pattern, feel what needed to be felt, and finally take control.
Did You Know....Overthinking Is a Belief-Driven Loop
Overthinking isn’t just random. It’s fueled by old, unconscious beliefs like:
“If I don’t think this through, I’ll mess up.”
“I need to fix this now or something bad will happen.”
“If I make a mistake, I’ll be rejected or abandoned.”
These aren’t truths.They’re learned lies that feel real.
And because 95% of our thoughts are habitual and 80% are negative [source], we end up replaying these false narratives over and over. This becomes your mental “home base” — even if it’s painful.
But here’s the thing: Beliefs can be rewritten. And habits can be retrained.
Let’s Try Something Together
In a moment, I’m going to show you a mind trick that can help eliminate 75% of the battle with negative thoughts. But first…
Let me ask you something strange:
How is the desk the mother of the chair?
Think about it.
Maybe it’s older. Maybe it supports the chair. But here’s the actual answer:
It’s not. The desk isn’t the mother of the chair.The desk is a desk. The chair is a chair.
Yet your brain tried to find a story.That’s what brains do — they try to make sense of things. And when the truth isn’t clear, they guess. They invent stories and call them facts.
The problem is, these stories aren’t rooted in reality — they’re rooted in unprocessed emotion and outdated beliefs.
Step 1 of the STOP IT Method:
Stop the Story
Once you realize your thoughts are just stories — and that you’re not obligated to believe them — you take your power back.
This is the first step of the STOP IT Method:Stop the Story.
Rather than fighting the thought or trying to replace it with a positive one (which rarely works), you interrupt it with presence.
Here’s how:
Quick Reset: 3 Steps to Stop the Overthinking Habit
Catch the Thought: Say: “That’s just a thought. Not a fact.”
Make It Ridiculous: Say it in a cartoon voice. Sing it. Give it an accent.You’ll notice it instantly loses power.
Shift to Your Senses: Look around and state something factual:“I see a plant.” “I hear a clock ticking.” “I feel the floor under my feet.”
This breaks the cycle. Your nervous system registers safety.And your mind quiets.
Real-Life Rewires
One of my clients, Jeff, struggled with anxiety at night. But he was a movie buff. So instead of spiraling, he’d list Academy Award winners by year — not because it “fixed” the problem, but because it interrupted the pattern.
Another client found calm by slowly eating jellybeans — naming flavors, noticing texture, engaging her senses. It brought her out of the story and back into her body.
For me? Singing show tunes, ( I used to be a musical theater geek shhhhhh!) I know, it sounds ridiculous. But it worked. I shifted from anxiety to absurdity — and then, eventually, to calm.
Lastly.... Nothing is "wrong" with you. You’re Programming is Patterned.
Overthinking isn’t a personality trait.It’s not who you are.
It’s just a pattern — based on emotional avoidance, false beliefs, and nervous system habits.
And like any pattern, it can be unlearned.
The first step is awareness.The second step is practice.The third is freedom.
If you’re ready to stop overthinking, start by stopping the story.Not by arguing with it — but by noticing it, interrupting it, and returning to what’s real.
You have more power than you think.You just need to feel it.
Want Help Rewiring the Habit??!
Get My Free Mind Training Audio
Reset your nervous system and stop the story — in less than 15 minutes.(No forcing. Just pressing play.)
Coming Soon:
This is just Step 1 of the STOP IT Method. Next, we’ll explore how to Tune Into the Tension — and use your body as your best source of wisdom.
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